Sauz's Dairy: boards, buuggies(bu-u-gies) and babe

12th Sept'99
Dear Dairy,

Sometime I just hate myself for being myself... WTF is this life.. get up at 3:00 AM in nite (yeah its still nite, but my mom calls it 'early morning' don't know what how on earth that can be), sulk and read ... go to that clumsy school ... come home.. stuff food in your stomach... rush(run always) to catch that bloody hitchhike ride for extra classes... and now this tuitions... where the hell do i get time to fit this new piece of sh** in my already overloaded schedule... but all these rants are of no avail... i have to .. coz in my mother's words I have to "prove myself... score good (and this good means 95% +) and do justice to my parents' efforts"... enough of it.. i just can't bear that anymore... sometimes I feel that I am paying the price of being the elder son.. my younger brothers and sisters does not have that many expectations to fulfill.. they enjoys their life... and here am I.. sulking.. slogging to prove something that I don't even care about... but no avail... I have to and I will go to tuitions...

I was already breathing my lungs out when i reached to that filthy van... and the driven.. (I know he saw me running) only stopped when i was near to fall after running half a kilometer... f*** him... the 'great' raghu... saala naam se hi kamina lagta hai... anyways... reached the great tuition center... and to my astonishment.. it was just a garage... WTF.. this is 'the' great, equipped tuition center ... that bloody tutor have robbed my parents..... I was the first one to arrive.. clad in my red t-shirt and sand colored jeans , with my school shoes on (wow! must have given a stiff competition to govinda).. and i waited for that garage to open... soon a pretty girl came to the same place... she rode a scooty... and here i am .. ridding buuggies/cycles till now.. and babes are traveling in scooties.. no talks... she saw me... gave a i-don't-give-a-damn-for-u-joker look and stayed there. Soon crowd of some junk, overgrown boys came, riding their hayabusa (okay.. converted to look like one).. I again sulked and cursed myself.. WTF .. will i ever get something like that... ever???

soon the class started.. and i was asked to sit next to that pretty girl... i was WOW! the teacher is amazing.. I love him.. i mean.. thanks.. but again.. i just can't find words to start with.. my mind mumbled with so many things.. but nothing came out.. and then she turned and said "Hi! I am Lina..." I was... what a name...lina lina lina.. and forgot to reply back.. soon i found her looking away.. WTF what i just did.. I dropped a pappu catch... man! doom me... I was thinking through out the class on how to get back in talking terms with her.. she'll not look at me now.. thinking i am too proudy to respond to a hi!... WTF.... there goes my golden chance...

but something was there in the air.. or gods were finally thinking of me.. she said a bye! and that too with smile... gosh! i'll die.. i'll die if this keeps on happening.. something is wrong...

Dairy.. i am so happy .. yet worried.. if mom knows this somehow.. she'll kill me.. and she already suspects something.. how can her son be so happy after a day like this.. where he is stretched, kicked and what not...
lets keep this secret.... till something 'good' happens ;)

Its already 11:30 PM.. i'll try to catch up some sleep.. that ghantaghar ka alarm (my alarm clock) will ring @ 3:00 AM... sleep tight...

Note from Diary's Pagekeeper

It has been quiet long since i reflected something from sauz and sam's diary... and the reason for this utterly irresponsible, irrational behavior is the laziness of Sauz and Sam. Those two can full of garbage (nah.. they are sweet, reasonable guys.. till it comes to terms of life) have stopped writing dairies ... seems someone.. somewhere told them about me.. or their so-called-private entries being reflected to public..

Nyways.. to update you... Sauz has finally managed a job change. He joined a new company working in some (blah-blah) filthy software (they seem to be a perfect fit... software and Sauz... both never work and expect people to praise them). Sam.. Sam is out of that slurty PM's grip... and is all set to visit US of A.. his dream destination...(he even started talking in that American ascent..imagine... a UP's bhaiyya trying to talk in English and that too with American ascent...competisan phar Lalloo)... so as they are busy with their so-called uplifting of life... I thought to digg in past and guess what!! I got hold of their old dairies... the ones they wrote in college... and "ek ke saath ek muft muft muft " offer mein... I got hold of Sauz' school dairy as well... rather its not a dairy but his ranting of his whole school life... so people... get ready to dive in past and all set for a roller coaster, hilarious ride of "the OLD (mis) adventures of Sauz and sam" with me ..dairy's page keeper.. being your faithful guide to this odyssey..

lets sail....

Yet another creepy, soaky, clusmsy weekend

Dear Dairy,

Finally ... the weekend is over... (SAuz, aren't we suppose to exclaim with joy... with a slightly altered line ..week's over!! on fir day... mah boy... what those creepy managers have made of you ..).. yeah i know its not what we shud say... its forbidden to call those words... but with this AS rain pouring... and Sam (as always.. ha ha ha) confused to hell-a-things... i am screwed on weekends... WTF.. isn't weekends are meant for chilling out and doing things that u r prohibited to do ( WTF sauz... what are u intending to do.. no man no.. there is smthing called conscience.. and i am very much alive ;) you just can't ignore me)...

Sam again had that i-will-study-my-A**-out-in-weekend syndrome... i seriously need to take him to a doctor... the one who can diagnose him as a psychic or smthing like that (thats bad sauz.. u can't throw out truths like that.. it was a hidden one man!!! sam sam sam.. this guy is screwing you up)... this AH, whom we know as Sam the great... went on for full 1.5 days of weekend, plunging deep into some Java BS... of nothing i'll dare to even think of.... leave apart writing it... ok.. sunday evening.. our gr8 fella is getting back on track.. he threw the book and all crap notes with a declaration of 'FO' ... and i instantly knew his so called 2 days efforts have paid off.. they went in the same drain as they used to... (poor sauz, you could have pushed him as well ... atleast he'd be away... protected from seeing ur BS face each day) ... so finally we went to 'watch' a movie... and guess want ... there were rose marrys!!! lot many... and too good to praise in words... but sam was in his wonderland of Java (BS again) thoughts... he didn't paid his homage or showed his admirations to rose marrys!!! WTF.. why are you living... you are good as dead.... rose marrys man!!!! then came the best of all part... sam went to take the tickets.... this theater is crap (after all its called 'innovative' man!!) ... and then after waiting 15-20 mins... devoid of rose marrys.. when sam came out of that AH lined up place... i asked.. which row man!! and he said "dude! it is costing 180 per head... and if we come on Monday it would be just 120 bucks!! imagine!!" yeah i can... you AH, BS fellow... WTF .. was i waiting here to hear your BS... WTF .... God! take this piece of Shit .. from earth.. it would be less polluted...

Another BS thing.... my friend told be that our beloved company is organizing a cupid party wherein there is a dress code depicting ur status ... viz - viz... green for available.. red for in love... yellow for broken ups...
WTF... why on earth shud i tell my status (tell them sauz... that u r good for nothing... actually u r nothing !!! they'll give exceptions) above all... all those rose marrys whom i admired would reveal their true colors.... my valentine is gonna suck dude (amazing!! what else you want, eh?) ...

Dairy, why can't we have what we want? i mean okay.. i agree i want everything.. but at least smthing is okay.. right? eh? so should i give you the list? (yeah, a porche, a BMW, a harley, a house in long island, a yacht, a AS, CS, blonde as wife and numerous girlfriends, with a never ending supply of money (P.S. the currancy should be euros, dollars is loosing market man!!)..

Feed 4: Nothing new.. yeah a new AH found

Dear Dairy,

Sorry, I wasn't writing nything since long... there was nothing to write much about (oh! what happened to my sheer luck... bo hoo hoo:( )... Sam is busy with his life (wow! nice way to put that he is being screwed up in office by that BA, slurty manager... nice way Sauz... u r a TRUE friend)... I sited another created this weekend... another one of the same species as Rose marry... but then ... as my luck is on the BS stint... she was accompanied by a some stupid looking, BS guy... WTF... why can't I have smthing... smthing that i solely own.. (not even underwear??? Sauz.. thats bad.. I'll tell Sam not to use them man!! at least thats a bit of privacy u deserve)... what else... yeah we've got another BS, stinky, AH added to our group as my 'new room partner'.. and somehow.. i don't know why... but i just hate the face of this guy... big AH... i tell you (and what are you! George Bush... WTF.. that does mean the same.. ha ha ha)... I just can't stand the sight of him... idiot.. so i thought i puke out all i had in me in front of u Diary... (saale u r puking it in front of everyone... by tomorrow even the stray dogs will know how do you 'feel' about him)... so i have to adjust with this stinky, piece of shit.... tough i am being a bit modest... (worried Suaz, he might read it huh!)

So, I'll shut up now... i am frustrated to hell ( as if nobody knows that ha ha ha..... expect it Sauz... u r the undisputed king of the F.O.S.L.A. tough Sam is catching up real fast)... good nite diary... put on some fragrance... otherwise Buno will not let you...

Dairy feed 3: The cliffhanger inside me

23rd Jan 2008

Dear Dairy,

I am shocked.. I am frustrated... my job is insecure... and so is my virginity(oh! so is it smthing like a blue diamond thats on stake... comeon Sam loose it man!! you got the golden chance).... God.. WTF... why on earth do i have to bear it all... and everytime it has to be me.... the man-turned-guinea pig for all those bloody experiments of destiny...why me???

The sub-prime crisis (whats that BS btw??) is taking a toll on jobs here at our very own india... I can see people being laid-off, projects getting scrapped and what not... my project and may be my job (why.. do they know that you are that AH good-for-nothing... sam sam sam.. I told you not to expose that you idiot...). And to add to it.. its my slurty, big-fat-ugly manager.. who is behind my virginity.... God... take this post as an SOS (or rather shall we put is as 'Save-my-virginity' what say??). I don't know how it began (you lair... you must have given those peeping view to her... BAH.... now bear the consequences), okie... okie.. it was me how became a bit friendly initially (see i told you... now don't we all know what this 'friendly' means...) but that was just to make our interaction comfortable...i swear... thats was all.. tell me dear diary... am i such a big AH that i'll leave the helens and penalopes of my office to go behind this ugly-BA-BS. do i look that big AH?? (who knows.. may be its hidden deep within you... ha ha ha)..

Today it was just too much... just too much... I can't say it (now come on sam... we are friends, aren't we? you can puke it all out.. go on bunny boy...) I was already frightened to paleness after hearing a fresh round of lay-offs (thanks to sub-prime again) that this BA came and guess what (what? asked you for a BJ... ha ha ha) she asked if we can go out for a dinner (ah haa! date ... sam you are rocking man!!) not with the team (so you thought she wants to take the whole bunch.. you're such an AH) but just we two alone.... and i was freezed.. don't know what to say.. how to say...if i deny... my job is sure-shot gone... and if i except.. my virginity is lost to such a filthy mass of fat.... God... somehow .... for nowhere.. an angel came in form of the office boy and took that she-devil with him... gosh ! what a close save (shit!! the fun ended before it begun... man! my luck is not going guns these days)...

So dear dairy... tell me what should i do in such a case... she'll come again... i know.. its not over (ha ha ha.. the party is still on, 'picture abhi baaki hai mere dost' ha ha ha) .. i can risk my virginity for the sake of my job... but what will i do without a job... i am a cliffhanger.... a 75% fallen one :(

Dairy feed 2: heartbreak revisited :(

22nd Jan 2008

Dear Diary,

I am heart broken today. And I can't tell you how it feels... No this not my first time.... am a 'pro' in the business of breakups ... but this one is special... its really close to my heart... thats why i and BSing about it to you.

It must have been the second most ill-fated day of my life. Today my ex-to-be-girlfriend again dumped me... no not directly tough... she chose to drop that 'single-and-ready-to-mingle' tag of her and bear to robe of 'committed'. The problem is that.... it wasn't me ... i was not in the picture... actually i was not even in the scope of miles around the place where this tragic incident took place...

Cool down sauz... take a deep breadth... now ! thats much better... so where was I... yeah.... oh haven't i introduced you to my ex-to-be-girlfriend... oh my mistake... so the great BS account begun when i was awestruck by her majestic eyes and that flawless beauty (as if this was the first time huh!!!) ... I started trying to be around her all the time.. so that i might... even if the chances of which are infinitesimal.. would talk to her (oh! you AH... yeah she'd come to you and ask you for a BJ.. rite?).... so the things ended before they even took of.. my love jet crashed (even before taking off??) and i saw the robe of 'committed' on her orkut profile.... still just because of my so called 'gud' friends (sam included), I was forced to call her and tell her my 'feelings'... (Wow! the fun begins finally....) and the end is same as me (pathetically predictable)... I was banged, and bashed, and thrashed and what not... what an eye opener... WTF... why did i ever did it?
The account got closed with sauz swearing of God not to do that again....

Springs went and came, and did someone said that love is blind (love?? was it?? ha ha ha)... and over 'Casanova' one fine day saw the robe of 'committed' throne away... again the god-created orkut was the one to play the role of cupid (this stupid site would screw how many lifes man!!!! someone got to all th end!!!). And then flowers were blossoming again.. winds were singing and the BS job started seeming amazing to our love(or smthing else) struck suaz...

This also didn't lasted long... destiny was to stab 'Casanova' sauz with a bitter knife... and it chose the vehicle.... the same 'status' @ orkut.. (man !!! too much... WTF... i'll remove that flithy status itself..) and hence this page...
So moral of the day... 'Status' in orkut is hazardous to mankind (specially we guys...) a revolution is needed to ban it off...

Dairy feed 1: Rose marry sited!

Dear Dairy,

It was yet another boring, mundane, nothing to do Sunday.. usual to our custom. We were "planning" (as we always did! ) for the same (WOW!, now that amazing). We'll sleep till we can, get up, bug somebody to make some tea (if nothing is left over from the last one made), again crawl in our beds with some book or newspaper (only to see the pretty, scantly dressed gals), again do our age-old 'BC'.

Things were going fine till sam's inner self appealed strongly to 'Read' some technical stuff. Moreover, I don't know how, this does not happens often, and should not have happened, but it did, and Sam was in control of his inner-self. Obviously i was not insane, and i protested strongly, and got a equal (or may be a stronger) verbal retreat from Sam. he was hell bent upon 'studying'. Yuk!! an sunday being ruined. God! WTF....

Okie! calm down, dude.... lets see where and how long will this guy read.. ;) (ha ha ha, the devil inside me was laughing and the red tail started wagging). I agreed upon with him and planned to study myself (the devil inside me was on an absolute roll! God save Sam he he he). Till our late noon ... things were fine... so i'll leave all crap and come to the point...

While having our lunch (which should be ideally called 'trunch' (tea + lunch) if something like that exists).. I sighted an amazing creature thru the window of my kitchen... WTF... whats that beauty???.... and next thing i did was.., called sam... the call was more of a abuse and less of the actual message.. but nevertheless, it was exactly interpret by sam, who confirmed the sighting..... I was awestruck... and kept hanging upon the kitchen window... forgetting about the food in my hand....

Food.... must be followed by a good, long sleep... we've been following this since... eternity ... i guess. So we followed it on this messy sunday as well. We had plans to go and venture out for something ... (as usual with no aims, tasks or errands in hand) before we submitted ourself to the goddess of sleep.

Evening... or say it is night already... after long persuasion, sam agreed to venture out and go to the nearby mall. He (and I) as well knew that the visit would be a 'tafree' with nothing to be purchased... but thou shall pose as if they are finely scrutinizingly, analyzing the cloths, shades, watches or what-so-ever...

On the way to our destination, I sighted something irresistible, walking by side of the dusty road... somehow... i knew it has to be that wonderful creature i sighted in the afternoon.. and yes she was.. the next few seconds passed in BCing about her and the way we'd make the proposals (which we'd never do)... but then sam suddenly christened that beautiful creature.. 'Rose marry'.... and the best thing of the day was born...

It was the irresistible pull of Rose marry that deterred us from our course and we went ahead and parked our 'mangi hui ducati' in front of her apartment... then she came... WTF... she was too good for a BJ ;) ....

So this is how we sited and found our latest 'rose marry'.....

too much of BC for you.... sleep well dairy... from tomorrow... again we are plunging in the real-bad world... that BS job... :(